The NFL Halftime Show is going to SUCK

Ugh.  Ever since the Janet Jackson "wardrobe malfunction" thingy occurred, the NFL has gone way conservative in deciding who's going to perform at their shitty halftime shows.  Can't say that I blame them, but The Who???  Fucking ridiculous.  I thought the idea of Superbowl halftime shows was to give people incentive to watch? 

There are sooooo many reasons why this is a bad idea.  First of all, I represent a popular demographic that regularly watches NFL games.  And reanimating dead members of a rock group that peaked in the 60's/70's doesn't exactly excite anyone under the age of 45.  (FYI, I'm not close to 45.) I can stomach rock, but fossil rock doesn't appeal to my demographic. 

I don't care if The Who still "packs em in" in concert, giving the world stage to a band that is no longer relevant and interesting to the current NFL players and a large chunk of the fan base alienates said chunk.

I don't know who green-lit this decision, but they couldn't have watched last year's halftime show.  Old dudes can't "rock" anymore.  Try to contain your amazement as Bruce shitily handles this guitar!  Is this shit impressive to anybody??? (Skip to :08 seconds in if you want to save :07 seconds of your life) 



And if decency was ever the issue (see above-referenced Janet Jackson thingy), this doesn't help... Boss crotch:

Wildlife SUCKS

Why did I take a picture of this mound of dirt?  Because its in my backyard, which isn't supposed to contain a mound... make that several mounds of dirt, but it does!

There are plenty of ways I planned to spend my Saturday afternoon, but trying to kill a mole/gopher wasn't one of them.  I tried to drown it, but I'm not sure if that did the trick.

I'll be sure to post pictures of it's shovel-busted head when I kill it.

The Cenral FL auto show SUCKS

The annual Central FL Auto Show came to town this week, and its level of suck grew a this year.  There were quite a few car manufacturers that apparently said "I ain't brinin' mah shit to yo' shit!!"  Nissan, Jaguar, Audi gave us the middle finger apparently.

Many of the ones that did show up just mailed it in.  Mini comes to mind.  Does Mini do ANYTHING for next year's car?  I imagine they spend 8 minutes discussing new color options for the next year and voila... 2010 Mini's are done baby!

There was a section of the car show with some custom exotics on display, but that section was the suckiest bunch of suck that ever did suck!  All the cars were roped off in one section and you couldn't even walk within 5 feet of them.  WHAT IS THE FUCKING POINT OF THAT?  We mustn't disturb the delicate genius that is this Lamborghini Diablo!  Watch in awe from afar bitches!

It wasn't all suck though.

Lexus' display was pretty nice as they showed off their new hard top convertible IS C10.

There was a pretty nice muscle car display.  

Ford didn't bring that same old chrome concept car they've been bringing the last 2-3 years. Although for some reason, they didn't bring the new GT500.  Why? 

I got to see a ZR-1 up close, but the bitch was locked, which prevented my $121,000 get away from the rest of the suck.  The awesomeocity of the ZR-1 CANNOT be overstated.

Chevrolet also had a Stingray concept at the show.  This car was like one of those girls you see at the club that looks bangin' from across the room, but just when you're about to do what stalkers do to their prey, you discover her membership to Butterfaces of America (BOA). 

While waiting for my wife to come out of the crapper, I heard a passing couple's conversation about the show...

She: "Glad we didn't pay fer dat.  I woulda been mad."
He: "Gets lamer every year.  I still like comin' though."

In retrospect, I'm not sure if he was talking about the auto show or something else.

This place SUCKS

I'll admit, its one of the better public service offices I've been to, but its set up to be this faux technologically current operation with monitors showing your place in line... like the Genius Bar at the Apple Store... but instead of having college students, gays, and rich people, its filled with the exact opposite.  

Also, massage therapy courthouses NEVER work!

This car really SUCKS

If a nerd had sex with a female van, and that van gave birth to a car, it would be this.  There's a lot of shit wrong with this car.  Don't spend too much time eye-fucking yourself with this picture.  Just know that a guy that likes dudes who shoot laser-beam swords at his left-front tire is definitely crazy.

Pets SUCK

Yeah, you heard me.  They suck.

Yeah we love em n' shit but they suck because of all the pissin' n' pewpin' on your carpets.  I can take going on my floor b/c that's pretty easy to clean.  But going on my carpets is some fuckery!  And this is from animals that are "house broken".  Imagine me making air quotes with my fingers when I say - house broken.  Oh?  You knew the deal with that already?  Well why the fuck did you piss on my carpet know-it-all?

BTW, if you are offended by cursing, you probably shouldn't have read this.

The "P" word...

I've been looking forward to doing this for a while now, just been procrastinating... (you weren't expecting another "p" word were you?) which is something that sucks, but I'm sure everyone probably knows this already.  Its something I've done all my life.  Has anything good EVER come out of procrastination?  Probably.

Yeah, I'll probably sound like someone that hates just about everything, I like some crap and this will be my voice to talk about the parts that suck about the stuff that I like and other crap that sucks generally.  Check back daily... or every other day... or whenever the hell.